All Over the Place...I'm Back

My life is all over the place. Good. I'm happy. But not content. Things sure have gotten alot better for me. I have a new job, in my field, that I really enjoy. Its at a huge insurance company, doing Graphic Design of course. My coworkers are all witty and quirky just like me. I've did some personal cleansing of negativity from my life, I've also removed some pain and hurt. Well, now that my mini depression is officially non-existent, its back to the basics for me. Back to my original game plan, with a view tweaks here and there. I want to talk my life to the next level, I want to absorb all I can from life.I want to discover things I've never imagines before. I have a hunger for success and a deep desire for passion. I am also going to begin organizing things for my novel that I plan to begin writing soon....I don't have a name yet. The novel will be about a woman's journey through life, finding herself and a lot of other things along the way. So look out blogger world, I AM BACK!!! And I have lots of thoughts that have been floating around for months now, no better time than now to express them!

The Aspiring Writer...

So many thoughts. So many directions. So many emotions. 

Fingers on keyboard....

I'm not ready...

Gone Fishin'

Rods?...Check! Hooks?...Check! Bait?...Check! OFF Bug Spray?...Check! Folding Chairs?...Check! Ice?...Check! Case of Beer?...Check! Ok so now were ready for our fishing adventure...

So this past weekend I went fishing with my sister, her two kids, and her boyfriend. It was my day off but I received a phone call early that morning (mood=pissed because I wanted to sleep in), but I quickly got over it, got up , and got dressed. Nothing fancy, just the worlds most comfortable cargo shorts and a brown shirt, complimented by my favorite pair of Old Navy flip flops! 

So once I get to the other side of the world were my sister lives (aka the other side of town), we pack up two cars worth of fishing equipment. You would think we were going camping. And then we even went to Wal-Mart so my sis could buy more stuff, life blankets and extra weights for the rods.

Now this whole time I'm thinking were just gonna hit up the local beach pier and fish with everyone else. So in my mind I can enjoy the comfort of being at my favorite place in the world (the beach) and hopefully catch some dinner as well. But noooo, my sisters boyfriend knows this "hot spot" that good for fishing. So we head there.....oh yea, by the way it was in Ponte Vedra Beach which was like an hour away from where we were. So we finally get their and he tells us that in order to get to this "remote" location we must first walk through some woods. Notice he said "some" woods. So were like, ok no problem....so we all grab all the stuff, which was alot more than we could handle, did I mention we picked up tons of snacks from Wal-Mart as well. And we begin out hike through the woods...which turned out to be 2 miles in the sweltering heat carrying all this heavy fishing stuff with flies attacking us the whole way!! 

But once we got there, it was cool. Just a little patch of land where we could set up camp and hopefully catch some fish. So as I'm standing in the water waiting on the slightest jerk on my line I start thinking.....we as Americans have it so easy today. Then I was thinking about the 2 mile hike in the woods carrying all that stuff, I was imagining what the conditions were like when Harriet Tubman made her way from the South to the North. I was thinking about the people in Africa who don't have any transportation and some don't even have shoes. The weather is much hotter over there and they have to carry there whole life on there head. I started thinking about the times when people had to fish by hand, roast that sucker with a handmade fire and eat it just like that, no lemon pepper or tartar sauce. Hell not even a fishing rod to catch the fish!! With all this being said, it just made me realize how far things have come for African Americans, and it made be appreciate the things I have now. It also made me extremely curious about Black history and what the conditions were like. I think that this weekend I'm gonna go check on an African American Art exhibit that taking place at a local museum, and perhaps I'll even do some research people like Harriet Tubman. I guess the whole point of this entry is just to share my experience with you and remind you that other people made it possible for us to live the life we live today. And although things are certainly not perfect, we should still celebrate and cherish what those people have accomplished!! 

So if your reading this I challenge you to Google any African American who sacrificed alot so that we could have what we have today. You'll be surprised!!

Here's a little uh video I made during our adventure!! Enjoy!!

M.O.S.H

The Museum of Science and History

Jacksonville, Florida

(some cool old school graphics; I love vintage graphic design)

more pics coming soon....

Do Good Things Really Come To Those Who Wait?

So I'm sure everyone has heard the saying "good things come to those who wait". But how do you know that's true? Who came up with that? How long should we wait? Do we get just 1 good thing or many good things? What do we do while were waiting? My point is that this statement is like a cliff hanger!! Very disappointing!!

The reason I'm blogging about this is because I feel like I've been waiting forever. At times I don't even feel sure of what it is that I'm waiting for. Lets take love for example...I've been single for going on 3 years. In the past none of my relationships have ever been really serious. I mean we were seriously in the moment and full of lust, but overall that's about as deep as it got. 

So I have this picture in my head of the perfect guy for me: (smart, funny, witty, artistic, successful, respectful, and honest). I mean is that soooo much for a girl to ask for? In the words of Charlotte from Sex in the City, "I've been dating since I was 15, where is he already?". Ugghhh

Now by all means don't get it twisted, I don't NEED a guy. I've been holding in down on my own just fine (smiling confidently). But sometimes you want someone to laugh with you, you want someone to teach you things, you want someone to make you feel special. I mean what girl doesn't want these things? But where are all the men??? I know where there at....there all gay!!!

Once again, by all means don't get it twisted I don't have a problem with gays. Not one bit! I love the gays! (I like for things to be mixed up a bit) I honk all the time when they protest at the capital. I even have a rainbow pin and button! (Tucked down deep on the inside pocket of my book bag) But I'm just saying that they are taking over and its making it very hard for women like myself. So back to my initial point...what are we waiting for? For the gay count to keep on rising? For more of our men to choose white women? For more of our men to end up in jail or prison? For more of our men to have 2-3 different baby mamas? NOT COOL PEOPLE!!! I don't want to have to settle for something when I know I deserve something else. Its not fair to me or him because inside I'm always gonna know that he wasn't good enough.

And then there's all the other types of men that are on the rise....the womanizers, broke asses, stalkers, boojee dudes, don't wanna settle downers, and the list continues.

Sorry people, definitely not meaning to rant but I'm just tired of being single dammit!!! (literally laughing at myself right now) Ok people, I'm done venting for now! Prince Charming (googly eyes as I stare off into space thinking about the prince) will come someday, or if he's already here maybe he'll realize that I'm the friggin' greatest chick that he's ever gonna meet (wink)! Until then I guess I'll be waiting...for the good thing....righhtttttt

Kanye's Workout Plan

OK so I've been wanting to lose this infamous "freshman 15" for about 2 years now. I'm not morbidly obese, and some people don't think I need to lose any weight, but my body doesn't look the way that I (emphasis on the I) want it to look. It just needs a little uh toning, tightening and tucking. So today I signed up for a gym membership at Baileys Powerhouse Gym, and I have a trainer, Casey, who is gonna help me shed about 10 pounds. 

I'm looking forward to this journey of conquering the "5 Components of Physical Fitness", as Casey likes to call them. Ya know the whole muscle strength, endurance, cardio, blah blah blah.... I know this will be hard, especially having to give up the foods I love. I'm a sucker for Chick-Fil-A and my mother's infamous homemade pancakes (they're to die for)! OK enough of sounding like a fat fatty!!! 

I am going to lose this weight!!! (Do I sound convincing?) I am woman hear me roar!! (OK that's taking it a bit too far huh?) But I can, I will, and I must!! Because its getting hot now, and I plan to travel this summer and I want my bathing suit body to be right!! No covering up with a shawl this year!! I'm letting it all show!!! (And for $30 a month it better show well!!!)

Well I'm a girl who's always up for a challenge, so let the games begin!!! 

25 Things, 9 Months...

OK so I've came up with about 25 things that I want to accomplish in 2010. And with the help of 43things.com I think I'm well on my way to accomplishing them. And guess what?? I've already completed 1 of them!!! WOOHOOO!! Just 24 more to go!!! So here's a brief overview of my goals....

(not in any special order)

1. Go to a yoga class

2. Grow my hair long

3. Visit New York City

4. Visit Las Vegas (Birthday trip, cant wait)

5. Visit Washington, D.C.

6. Go to an art museum (or a few, I LOVE art)

7. Host a great party

8. Workout 3 days a week (I did it for like 3 months last year, then I stopped :-( )

9. Lose 10-15 pounds

10. Do some volunteer work (I want to Make a Difference!)

11. Keep Blogging (Don't worry blogger world, I'm not going anywhere :-) )

12. Get a digital SLR camera (I want to get better at photography)

13. Buy a new bike and ride it at least once a week 

14. Learn to paint and draw

15. Run a marathon

16. Pray every single day 

17. Be completely debt free (This may take longer than a year, damn student loans!)

18. Become an artist

19. Read one book a month (I've read 2 books in 2 months so far, working on the 3rd :-) )

20. Design my own website (It's just so tedious)

21. Do karaoke (I'm gonna need a few drinks first, lol)

22. Go to church regularly

23. Master the complete Adobe Creative Suite

24. Enroll at UF and start grad school

25. Try sushi (BEEN THERE, DONE THAT FRIDAY!!! YAY ME!!! AND IT WAS GOOD!!!)

On a more personal note: I would also like to do all of the things that I want to do, regardless of what people say or think. I can admit that in the past that has been a problem for me, I care too damn much about what other people think. Well the first step is admitting it right? No more of that nonsense, I have to live my life for me and nobody else and nobody else has any control over my life. I am in the drivers seat. I read a quote last summer that never meant as much to me as it does now: "Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."

This Cant Be It ?!

*sighs* So today is one of those days...ya know, a day when you start doing all this random thinking about your life and what you have going on. You start questioning yourself, your goals, your plan and so forth. Well today is definitely that day for me. I just feel like I should be doing more with my life. I'm 22, educated, smart, funny, single, healthy, completely able to do anything I want. However, at this moment I don't feel like I'm getting the most out of life; basically I'm not doing anything I want. I always get this inner urge that theres something bigger, better, wider, higher (and any other adjective you can think of) out there for me. But what am I missing? Am I doing something wrong? How do I get out this 20-something crisis? Those are the million dollar questions. I mean, I know theres things that I want to do. Just a few leisurely things that I know I would enjoy (i.e yoga, a boxing class, painting, etc.). But why aren't I doing these things? Its like I'm battling myself here. And I don't know who's winning. Yeah this is a really sucky feeling. And I have a perfect picture of a so-called perfect life for me in my head. But the real worlds a bitch and she aint budging! Sorry, but I don't agree with MJ, this CANT be it! 

While I was in my uh slump is what I'll call it, I stumbled across a website (www.43things.com). On this website people from all over basically make a list of things they want to accomplish in a certain amount of time, then once they accomplish them they write a little entry describing how they went about doing it and how it made them feel. Their stories of triumph intrigue and inspire me, so I signed up. But what should I do first! Hmmm....perhaps something simple, like the yoga?! Stretching does feel absolutely amazing to me, and I do like to meditate. Maybe I'll be extremely good at it?! Who knows...OK so its settled, my first move to a more "fulfilled" life will be yoga. I am now an aspiring yoga connoisseur! Guess I should now do some research (yes, I'm a bit of a nerd so I research everything). Stay tuned, my yoga adventure shall soon be documented. 

In the meantime, perhaps you all should check out 43things.com! I'll be working on a list for my other 42 things. Now that I think about it, it will be my "bucket list"! lol Makes me want to go rent the movie now! 

Veronica, my love....

This story began last week as me and my Veronica were surfing the web, like we always do. She was downloading a few songs for me while I filled out a few forms applications online. And we both were singing along to Adele's "Right As Rain" (love that song). And then it happened. My mother yells my name in a panicked voice. I jump up, shoving Veronica to the side and head for the door. Only to find that my foot has gotten caught in Veronica's web and I now lay on the floor, laughing at myself. Then I rise to my feet, dust the carpet lint off my shirt and continue my dash to my mothers call...

When I returned there it was. My precious companion, whom keeps me company in the wee hours of the night, makes sure I'm on track every hour by announcing the time, and makes me money sometimes was dying. The cord that powers her heart had been broken during my fall. The veins that carried the juice to her heart had been ripped. I quickly attempt to save her life by blindly sticking the wires back together; they only spark,fry, and then sizzle. It's a wrap, she was dying, slowly but surely. All I could do was stand their and stare, as she took her last breath. And then she was gone...Veronica had died.

Feeling like an ass, I quickly grabbed my wallet, ran to my mothers room and pushed the power button to her Gateway (remember those, they came in a cow box). As I set there tapping my foot while impatiently waiting on her Gateway to load, I thought about Veronica. She would surely go cold in a few hours. She must be so scared and lonely. Once the Gateway was finally up and running, my fingers danced across the keyboards. 

Its been $14.95 and 5 long days later. I checked the mailbox everyday anticipating Veronica's new heart. But had no luck. However, today was different, their was a package inside waiting for me. Veronica's new heart was here. I ran into the house while ripping open the package like a child on Christmas morning. The moment of truth: I plug it in. I then push the power button that will jump start Veronica. And then she coos a sweet melody and opens her eyes. She is alive again. I am elated to have her back. She has been missed. I love her dearly. I am at last reunited with my first and last love...my Mac!

Live, Laugh, Love

The world is filled with millions of people who are different in millions of ways. However, despite all of our differences, we all have one thing in common: one day we all will die.

Last week I found out that my cousins wife suddenly died. She had a blood clot in her leg, which eventually traveled to her heart. She was young (late twenties), madly in love with her husband, and a mother of 2 (the youngest child just a few months old, the oldest no more than a year old).

Finding that out upset me inside. I was upset because it made me realize something; no matter how much we exercise, eat healthy, take vitamins, or whatever it is that we do to try and stay healthy to "live longer", it all doesn't matter in the end because when its your time, its just your time. And its not promised that your gonna know when your time is.

So that got me thinking "Well what are we suppose to do? Just sit around and wait to die?" I stopped watching the local news about a year ago, reason being is because its so depressing! It makes me feel like if I step outside my front door I'm stepping into Vietnam where I must dodge bullets and grenades. So that got me thinking even more,"Everytime I leave my house, I'm taking a chance. A chance that I may not return."

With that being said,I made an executive decision that day that for the rest of my life (no matter how long, or short that may be) I will live more, laugh more, and love more. I don't want to go with any regrets, grudges, or baggage. I want to be content with my life as I leave no matter how young or old I may be. I don't want to give in to any negativity or surround myself with any negative people. I want the positive people around me to always know how much they mean to me. I also decided that I want a closer relationship with God. I'm gonna pray more and be sure to thank him for everyday he wakes me up, because you never know when its your last. So with all this being said, if your reading this I'm asking that you stop and thank the Lord for blessing you.......go ahead I'm waiting............

Done yet??

OK, now please call (or text) someone who is special to you, and let them know how much they mean to you. Sometimes people don't know how much they are needed, appreciated and loved; please don't wait till its too late for you to tell them.

Two Is Better Than One

OK I will finally admit it, but only to you blogger world: I have a slight shopping problem. Now don't get me wrong, all the bills get paid first and I'm a great bargain shopper, however, I tend to buy things I don't even need. But hell who doesn't have a shopping problem? (yes that's what I tell myself to cope with it; sue me!)

One thing that I've noticed is that I tend to buy everything in pairs. It's like something in my head says "Why get just 1 when you can have 2? Go ahead Erika, grab the other one." But don't let the sales person try to up sell me to 3 items. Oh no I'm not having that!! Because 3 is too much!! 

So I take a look through some of my things and reflect on what I was thinking when I bought them, here's how it goes down in my head: 

"Old Navy's having a sell, OK great I'll pick up 2 pairs of jeans."

"Think I'll make it a Redbox night, I'll get 2 movies." (although its already 11:00pm and I'm NOT gonna stay up to watch both and probably won't watch the 2nd one tomorrow either)

2 pairs of shades. 2 new books. 2 new shirts. 2 bronzers. 2 tubes of toothpaste. 2 different shampoos. 2 different face washes. 2 wash rags. 2 V8 Fusions. 2 CD holders. 2 flat irons. 2 dog collars. 2 credit cards. 2 different kinds of water. hell I had 2 jobs! Ughhh you name it I've got 2 of them!!

So after discovering my "addiction" to two's I considered myself a compulsive lunatic suffering from some weird disorder involving pairs. Until today that is!

My mother asked me to accompany her shopping, I reluctantly agree to go. So as we are grocery shopping in none other than Wally World, in order to expedite the process she sends me on other aisles to get a few things so that way we don't have to walk up and down every aisle. So as I'm heading to the next aisle and I look at her list I notice an all-to-familiar trend in her list. She wants 2 of everything!!!!

2 Salads. 2 Bananas. 2 boxes of cereal. 2 packages of hot dogs. 2 boxes of crackers. 2 loaves of bread. 2 sodas.

2222222222222222 You get the idea! So now I start to think....maybe this is like a genetic thing. Like maybe I get it from my mother. So I'm not a lunatic after all, she's the lunatic who passed it onto to me, so even if I am a lunatic it's only by association! Right???? 

I recall watching an episode of Criminal Minds (love that show), and one personality trait of the killer was that he did everything in 3's. Like he killed 3 people at a time, 3 knocks on the door, 3 turns of the knob..blah blah blah. I think that was eventually what gave him away, and he probably never even noticed that he had that condition. Too bad I don't remember what they called it. I wonder if that's the same thing as my unconscious desire to do everything in 2's?? Hmmmm what do you think?

The Perfect Stranger

This story began about a month and a half ago...

Just another day for me, so I thought. My dean wanted to see me so after work I made my way to campus to meet with him. He wanted to talk about some opportunities that he thought would interest me, and interested was I. So he put me in contact with a "stranger" whom I were to get more information from. After speaking with that "stranger" that night, I knew something was different. Something triggered a spark...a spark that has now become a daily glow...

So now I wonder, is it really possible to meet the perfect stranger? Is it really possible to talk to someone whom I've never met in person and who lives approx 700 miles away and have so much in common? How is it that this "stranger" can make me want to better myself in ways I'd never imagined? How is it that this "stranger" is just as big a dork as I am (sorry if your reading this, I know I said I wouldn't tell anyone)? How is it that this "stranger" can get me to open up about things that I would never tell to people I've known for years? How is it that this "stranger" knows the real me better than anyone else, not family, not friends, not anyone? Who does this "stranger" think they are!! It just seems so surreal to me. Damn you "stranger"!!!!! Where were you years ago? Huh?... Well wait a minute, I take that back...I'm glad you weren't around years ago, because back then I was too tied up with all of life's uh imperfect "strangers" (oh boy, what was I thinking). Anywho.....Having a "stranger" listen to what you're saying with no judgement, no stupid remarks or quirky comments; just quiet understanding, is perfect. Sometimes I share things and in my head I'm like "OMG where did that come from, damn I wish I could take it back", but I don't have to take it back with this "stranger". Their responses to my self-proclaimed "witty" comments leave me with the feeling of not being so crazy after all. So what makes you so perfect? Well...I know that perfect is going to mean something different to each individual, but for me it's stumbling across something or someone that's exactly what I need, exactly when I'm not looking for it. That's what makes it perfect....

This entry is dedicated to The Perfect Stranger...you know who you are!!

The Becoming Me Project

Hello To All...I'm Erika, the aspiring everything under the sun! I'm currently reading (yes, I'm a bookworm) Sex and the City, and like most people who began blogging I'm feeling compelled to share my thoughts, ideas, experiences and my journey to the world, in other words I'm having a Carrie Bradshaw moment. Seeing as though I don't have my own column, the blog will have to do for now! With that being said, Nice to meet you blog world! I hope you're good to me! So be on the look out for my journey to finding myself once again, this is becoming a yearly thing for me....ugh! First stop, the aspiring intellectual...